The Jerry Springer Show

I met a friend recently who I had not been in contact with for years. As we caught up with others trials and tribulations over the past years, I got to talking about some of my travelling highlights.

Full Moon Party, Great Ocean Road, the Barrier Reef, Hiking an ice glacier, sky diving in New Zealand ... I had loads to talk about.

But she interjected “Did I hear you went to a Jerry Springer Show?”

It took me off the hop, yes I did see Mr Springer in Chicago.

“Oh tell me all about it” she perused.

Perplexed, I summoned up my memories of the night. Was Jerry Springer more important than Cuba, is Jerry bigger than the Sahara?

No.

But Jerry was important to her, so I had to just laugh and recall:

I had applied for tickets off the cuff on line while sitting in a hotel in Albuquerque. We were going to Chicago in two weeks and I though why not (I applied for lots of other shows Oprah Winfrey, Ellen, the Tonight Show and the Late Show)

But it was only Jerry Springer who beckoned us.

I was excited at the time, Jerry Springer had been a big name in the 90s and I had practised my very best chant of Jerry, Jerry Jerry!

The day of the show was long, the security checks were tiresome, we moved from room to room. They coached us on what was acceptable behaviour and what was not and we watched some shows. We were told that the cameras would pick up on our expressions to the stories as they evolved, but that our reaction could be used with any scene in the entire series.

So say I was shocked that the gay dwarf was actually having a relationship with his gay partner's mother – my reaction could in fact be themed with the story of how a stripper wants her grandmother to stop stealing all her male clients ....!

Finally the show begun, Jerry came out, told a few jokes and then got the actors on stage.

Yes I said actors. I actually forget the story lines (it was over four years ago) but I remember it all being nice and fake, except for one storyline which was probably true but they were paid to juicy it up.

We heard three different stories – none of which were related to any theme and we booed, shouted, created Jerry and laughed. I did my very best disgusted face for the cameras.

And afterwards we did a little message for Jerry. It really was fun, but actually not that memorable.

I never did see my facial expression of disgust on the show afterwards and I didn't get to meet Jerry.

When we visited Chicago it had just been hit by floods and loads of tourist places were shut, so the city will always be associated with Jerry Springer for me – and The Dark Knight (because we saw it in the Imax theatre!)

Will I return to Chicago to see The Dark Knight Rises?!